20 Really Great Royal Baby Titles For Classy Parents

Jul 22, 2013

Look, it's possible that I don't completely understand how British titles work. But it's 100 percent true that Prince William is also called Baron Carrickfergus. (You may Google that. I'll wait.)

Now that we have verified that Prince William, who is also Duke of Cambridge and Earl of Strathearn, was made Baron Carrickfergus as a gift, we understand that naming a royal person is a little different from naming a regular person. If you are walking around in the world today, you may have heard that Kate Middleton a/k/a the Duchess of Cambridge a/k/a Baroness Carrickfergus a/k/a Lady Baby Bump, is in labor. And while I'd never tell anyone what to do, when you've attended somebody's wedding, you sort of feel like they should ask you before they name the baby.

So with apologies for any slightly flawed interpretations of British naming conventions, I present 20 suggestions for most excellent baby names. I remain humbly yours.

1. Prince Charles 2: Electric How Do You Do

2. Pumpkin

3. Prince Walter, The One Who Knocks

4. Princess Buttercup, BOOOOO! BOOOOOO!

5. The Baron Of Mustard, In The Library, With The Wrench

6. Beef Wellington

7. Lady (The Power Of Love)

8. Lord Of Leaping (alt: Lady Of Dancing)

9. Thomas, The Richest Baby Ever

10. Princess Powderpuff Of Sephora

11. Duke 79 UNC 75

12. Prince

13. Pardon Me Princess Fancypants Of The Island Of Aren't You Freakin' Special

14. William Philip Arthur Louis George David Harry Charles Beckham Bono

15. The Clark Of Kent

16. 007: Londoneye

17. His Royal Highness Fonzie Of The Kingdom Of Milwaukee

18. Prince Zoolander

19. The Knot Of Windsor

20. Princess Renesmee

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